It may seem silly. Pathetic even. But there are things in my life that are very, very trivial, but keep me wanting to stay alive a bit longer. My family are a given, I’d be long dead without them in my life.
However, I find I always need other distractions. I don’t go in for the idea that people’s lives would be poorer if I wasn’t in them. Hell I have even stated I believe to opposite to be true. No do I think my life is worth keeping for any particular reason.
But I do need distractions to try and make sure I am not piling everything on my family. So what is silly about them? Well, for a start, I am sure most people would see them as so trivial, it shouldn’t have an effect on one’s desire to remain in existence.
Now this is a gaming themed site and I will come to that soon. However sport plays a huge part. I am a Detroit Red Wings fan and a Liverpool FC fan. I really want to go to Detroit and watch the Wings play before I die. That is likely never to happen as I can barely afford a bus to town, let alone a trip to the States to watch Hockey. But it is something I want to do and be around for.
I’ve been to Anfield to watch Liverpool play many a time. I even lived in the City for a number of years. It is where I met my partner and where my first child was born.
There is something else with Liverpool and it comes down to Jurgen Klopp and what he is building with that team. They are on a special journey and I need to be around to see the conclusion. Records are tumbling and a first league title is potentially (at the time of writing) on its way. After 30 long years of suffering.
I fully expect most people to look at that and think putting so much into that as being a bit on the sad side. But you can’t just have the big grandiose things in your life as a thing to focus on. Because the grander it is, the less obtainable it seems to be. The more it is in your control, the more you can screw it up.
I have no effect on what Liverpool do, I am just along for the ride. But it is also thanks to football and Liverpool FC that I have a family that I love so dearly. So whilst it may be silly initially, it has much more meaning to me.
Some will get that, sport has a way of hitting you with all kinds of emotions. But what about video games? I look forward to things like E3, CES, TGS and the likes. Eager to hear when the next Nintendo Direct is.
Why? Because when I see a game announced I really want to play, it gives me another reason to keep going. If I die before a game is out, I will never get to play it. I want to play it, so let’s keep going a little while longer.
Even as I write this, it feels very silly. Staying alive because you want to play a game? One that I will probably bounce off pretty quickly… Come on, no one is that pathetic are they?
Again though, this is something out of my control. I cannot mess it up. All I need to do is look forward to it and enjoy it when it comes. It is one of the reasons I started writing (poorly), as an excuse to get and play these games.
I’ve made contacts in the industry and even had the pleasure of interviewing some of those involved. Sure I have had some failed experiments. I tried to keep Gamestyle relevant and it never happened. But I still looked forward to the games that were coming.
Games like Two Point Hospital which are close to arriving on consoles, or Cyberpunk 2077, which has been delayed. I don’t care though, as it keeps me going even longer, excites me even more. There is a need to see what this game turns out like.
I don’t have many interests. Pretty much gaming, football and ice hockey are it. I need those silly little things in my life. I like TV, music and film, but I don’t care about the. It is the games and my teams that I care about more..
Please don’t take that as me wanting to make it seem like they are bigger than what they are. As stated at the beginning, my family come first and they are my everything. These are silly little things that are a distraction.
I often see people online talk about the bugger picture and the grander things in a motivational way, but I find that just doesn’t fit with me. I am not destined to be great, I am bang average at best. So that doesn’t strike a chord with me at all.
But knowing that a game is due in 6 months, or there is another fixture around the corner, well that. That gives me the motivation. The silly little things aren’t as silly as you might think.